Dear Aunty Betty
I am desperate for your help.
I’m sitting here in one’s kitchen in Linden (house prices are rising nicely thank you) just horrified. At what I have just witnessed.
I had invited my friends from work around for dinner. They are an open-minded group as they work at the local ‘clap clinic’ and so are down to earth with regards to life’s funnier side. But this is an experience that even I would not find funny.
Tonight, I’ve cooked a wonderful dinner. A roast free range corn-fed chicken, King Edward potato grattan, broccoli and carrot bubble and squeak. Ingredients from Waitrose of course, garnished with a red wine and garlic gravy. Washed down with a lovely glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
Anyhow, I left the kitchen to go and polish the silver before my guests arrived only to return and witness the dog humping the roasted corn-fed chicken on the dining room table. Well I was livid because I had not got around to stuffing the chicken in the formal way only to discover the dog had done it for me.
Here is my dilemma Aunty Betty. Do I bin the free range corn-fed roasted chicken from Waitrose or wash it out before my guests arrive and mention nothing about the whole incident?
Aunty Betty says…
Well this is a difficult one to consider.
Initially I would have said bin it and phone for a take-away. When it arrives put it on a plate and take all the credit for cooking such a wonderful meal. I have done this myself when I purchased food from ‘Cooks’ on the Bath Road. Even today my family think I’m a dab hand and culinary delights.
However, on reflection this might work in your favour. I would continue to serve the said meal as it is evident that you have worked hard on it.
If anyone comments on experiencing a weird taste just tell them that you purchased a special stuffing from your local Waitrose. Just make up some weird name for it. Something like ‘Wild roasted nut with tea tree leaf stuffing’. Go further and tell them that it is a new range that you can only order on-line so this makes it difficult for them to stop off on the way home to confirm their doubts.
If they still protest just tell them it’s low fat, they fall for that kind of shit.