Cheltenham Supermarkets Being Brought To Book.

A group of Cheltenham singletons have come together to take on the major supermarkets in and around Cheltenham.

Legal challenge

A legal challenge has been made claiming that these said ‘supermarkets’ have been guilty of misleading its customers and false advertising.

Disgusting and immoral

“No supermarket seems immune from our extensive research on these matters” said David Microwavemeal (42) from Brockworth. David told Dick Wad, he had been single for ‘many years’ and considered that the way these supermarkets have been treating him and other singletons has been both ‘disgusting and immoral.’

Mis-selling and mis-leading


David went into great detail when he said, “We have found that all of these supermarkets have been complicit in mis-selling a service that actually does not exist, however, we have found slight differences with prices as these range from 50p in Waitrose and M&S to 10p in Aldi and so on”.

Beryl Wrist-ache who has been employed by Asda for about 15 years as a checkout operative told The Cheltenham Hurrah that “to begin with I had no idea what these singletons were asking for. One person actually asked me if I was available? I had no idea what he was on about”.

Lucy Barcode from Morrisons went further when she told our intrepid reporter, Dick Wad, that one customer asked; “where do we stock the filly?” “Well”, Lucy stated “I had no idea what he was talking about so I sent him to the cold meat section, he was livid when he came back and said I was clearly ill-educated”.

Legal writs being issued

In the legal writ issued yesterday the Cheltenham Lonely Hearts Society (acting on behalf of the Cheltenham singletons) cited that these questionable practices being used by the supermarkets were a rouse to tempt customers into their stores offering them a false hope. As such they were intentionally targeting a specific group of society and that they considered this to be discriminatory.

barry big wig
Mr B. Big-Wig QC

Barry Big-Wig QC ,the barrister representing the said group, was keen to point out that “these supermarkets have been operating a bully-boy tactic for too long. As 80p in every pound is spent in the supermarket their monopoly is too strong a hold upon the good working folk of Cheltenham. These large industries need to accountable for their behaviour and stand up to scrutiny.”

In reply The Guild of Cheltenham Retailers representing all of Cheltenham’s major supermarkets sent a counter petition. Within this said document The Guild were keen to point out that the phrase “A bag For Life” was not advertising, claiming to be or any indication of a ‘dating agency.’



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