A health service to be proud of
The Cheltenham Hurrah are proud to announce to the whole retailing world that Cheltenham’s local supermarkets are taking the pressure off the overburdened NHS. Cheltenham will be a world leader with such innovative ideas to help patients and professionals alike.
Accident and Emergency
We are all aware that our good doctors, nurses and Ambulance drivers are fully stretched to the point of near breakage. We are also aware that you cannot be sick in Cheltenham after 7pm as the hospital closes and so many of our unclean are sent to Gloucester A&E to show them what life was like during the Victorian times.
To see a GP or not to see a GP
Furthermore, you need to book your illnesses at least four weeks ahead to have any chance of seeing your local GP.
A high street gynaecologist service
However, it has been brought to our attention that the likes of Sainsbury’s, Morrisons and Asda are now operating a gynaecologist service at many of their larger branches around the spa town. The leaflets state that they charge by the hour which is excellent value for money.
The ‘Rug Doctor’ which available at the above-named stores prides its self on the service that it offers.
The high quality leaflet states…
“The most cost-effective way to deep clean your rug with a wet extraction, the Rug Doctor makes this easy and convenient for you! – available in all stores 7 days a week.”
Giles Press-shirt from M&S stated that they had no interest in offering this service within his stores at present. “Well already have a fish counter” he stated. “We have no more need for any other fishy type services thank you very much”.
“Where will this lead?” Said Colin Cornflower from Waitrose. “We need to draw a line somewhere, as soon as we offer this kind of service within our stores customers will be expecting their teeth to be extracted within the bread isle.”
Argos on the Gallagher retail park are pushing this service further by offering the Gyno services for £20 – That’s right £20, while stocks last.
My wife has a battered flea ridden rug
Miles Tie-clip from the local council stated “We really are going to be put on the world health map with this kind of service – I for one cannot wait to get home and get my good lady wife to get rid of her clumps by using the locally supplied ‘Rug Doctor’”.