It Was Not A Taste Sensation!!

Following a recent televisation of  Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall cooking programme, there was a sudden rush to the local shops within Cheltenham for a range of produce to make his ‘Chilli Lemon and mint roasted butternut squash.’

hugh 2
A wet lettuce and a green leafed vegetable

Following the showing of the rustic curly hair ponse’s television appearance. Sales of the said ingrediencies rose ten fold in 24 hours within the Cheltenham area. With olives coming a close second at 4 fold, even though they were not mentioned in Hugh’s list of ingredients.  As always, much of the ingredients need to be fresh and so the dried stuff “just doesn’t do it” stated Mark Portcullis (39) of St Mark’s, in Cheltenham.


However, Stacy Bigearings (19) felt somewhat disappointed. “Me and my mate, Chantelle (19) raced up to the shops at Coronation Square”. Stacy has been a resident of Coronation Square for most her life. “Me and Chantelle searched high and low for butter-nut squash in our local branch of Farmfoods. We just gave up in the end.”

butternut squash
Butter-nut Squash

Her good friend Chantelle continued the saga. “Well,” said Chantelle, “we decided to walk up to Asda in Hatherley and even there we struggled.” Asda, is well known within the area for stocking a range of high quality produce. “I thought it was crap” said Chantelle. “We found the correct isle but all we could find was Vimto, orange, orange and pineapple and stuff, but no butternut squash.” In the end the duo settled for Umbongo.


Stacy stated that when they got home they set to making the meal as directed by Hugh – except for the butter-nut squash (replacing it with the tropical fruit drink sensation – umbongo). “Well it tasted shit, Chilli Lemon and mint roasted umbongo, tasted awful”, Chantelle confirmed. “From now on” Chantelle exclaimed “we are going to stick with pot noodles, but to make it really posh we will serve it in ‘a dish’.”

hatherley asda
Asda at Hatherley

A representative from Hatherley’s Asda said, “what a pair of dickheads”.


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