Too posh for any old garden furniture


A local resident on the Evesham Road has set a new trend with regards to garden furniture.


Many passing motorists and people passing by could not help but look with envy at the garden furniture on show. What lovely cloth one may state, but look how well it matches the garden features of the lucky household.

When the resident (who did not wish to be named) was asked where they obtained such a visual delight, they stated; “Well, we went to Argos, home base and B&Q but they only offered that wicker shite. Well with my piles I needed something softer, so what better than to use my old sofa”.


Neighbours have been equally raving about it. “What a great idea”, said Mavis (82). “I’ve often wondered what to do with my old sofa, this is a work of genius”.

Mark (42) from the house opposite said he has an old dining table that he has been trying to get rid of for ages and was more than willing to offer it to his sofa using neighbour.

Bringing people together

Local resident associations have also noted the ingenuity of the Evesham Road resident. “This could bring a whole community together”, said Peter Longtoe. “Just imagine having a good old chat with a neighbour sitting on that sofa, there has been nothing like this since the war, and I for one am in full support of this”.

Local anger

However, residents of Princess Elizabeth Way have raised a formal complaint to the council. Mr Sandpaper (50), stated that “his neighbours have been doing that type of thing for years, and no-one from the local council has come to praise their initiative.” It has left Mr Sandpaper furious, he went further saying “it seems like one rule for the rich and one rule for us”.

As our reporter was still present, a neighbour was seen putting an old mattress on the lawn. “See” said Mr Sandpaper, “we try and cater for everyone around here, even the tired passer-by.” Apart from the dubious piss and dirty dick stains it didn’t look too bad a mattress and he was sure someone would welcome a good lie down.


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